The beginning

Hi.  My name is Lindsey and I am a food-aholic.  I created this blog for the purpose of journaling all my frustrations, upsets, successes, etc., about getting healthy, controlling my food and enjoying it.  And really whatever else I want that relates or influences me.  When I really look back at how long I've struggled with this it's pretty depressing.  Pretty much as long as I can remember food and I have been at a constant battle.  But it hasn't been until the last few years that it really has taken over my life.  I truly want to change and I'm really trying so many things that in the beginning I felt deep down would work.  There are plenty of quotes out there that motivate me.  But there are plenty that just make me feel like I'm a failure.  So people out there who come up with these quotes please stop saying stuff that makes me feel like a loser.  It's so much more than just saying "I'm going to keep going and stay motivated."  It's so much more than saying "I can change."

I kind of just want to scream and cry all at the same time over all of this!  Let me be clear that I know who I am.  I'm grateful for where I'm at in my life.  I LOVE my family and they are everything to me.  I am a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  And I know spiritually where I stand.  I'm just struggling with so many different little things about my health and weight that it all just piles up, one on top of another and before I know it it's reached the ceiling and is about to come crashing down.  AHHHHHHHH!  There.  I feel better.  A little bit.

Also I kind of just want to know if there are others out there that struggle right along with me.  I feel like because I can't control this one aspect in my life other areas fall apart as well.  Some say "I can control everything except for my diet."  Not me.  I can't control my diet.  Which then leads to me feeling down and stressed.  Which then leads to me not feeling motivated to do what I know I need to do.  I can't get a handle on it.  It's just like this never-ending cycle.  That's my venting session.  Hope you enjoy reading my honest opinion of how hard all of this is for me.  Maybe some of you can relate and maybe some of you are just feeling bad for me.  All I know is that I feel the need to write down all of these feelings for one reason or another and I don't care how it makes me look.  Enough is enough.

Please keep reading and commenting!

(I'm saying this in hopes that I will get some readers.  Any rude or offensive comments will be removed or deleted! -so keep it friendly and polite)